. is he there? Ohhhhh please let him be there.The dizziness I feel from my restricted breathing makes my body only too aware of how addicted I have be...ome to this part of my life, to this man. Drawing back the sheer window coverings, I stand there looking out into the night trying to focus on the building opposite mine, my attention on one window in particular.When did I become aware of my audience? When did my body start craving the indecent, depraved need I had to share myself with a. I sent her a text with my address.“Nice neighborhood, Jim.”“Thanks, it's very quiet. I really like it.”“See you in say an hour?”“Looking forward to it, Claire.”I was trying not to be too obvious, but I think she may have noticed a slight bulge in my crotch area. She grinned then started her car and left, waving as she did.Then the anxiety set in. Was I too forward too soon? Will she actually come back? Spend the night? In my bed?I told myself that I was taking a chance and all indications were. I was enthralled with it all. Everything hurt mentally and physically, but somehow also felt like things were getting better. I slumped upstairs with the garbage bags and walked them to the dump. I stood there for a while, after throwing them away. I have a choice. I can run, go somewhere else?or I can go back inside and be a slave. This choice felt like it would determine how things would play out for the rest of my life. After thinking for a few minutes, I straightened up, and walked. .." only to be interrupted by her spouse."She entertains railroad workers, and especially on paydays?" he said.I nodded knowingly about their drift, but I acted disappointed. Fact is, it made total sense to me that she was sexually active. How else was she going to have a baby?As I finally parted company, they hoped I would be able to steer Melody to the light, as they put it.It was still quite a few miles out to Promontory, and I was able to gain my way onto the Union Pacific's private meeting.
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