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Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. C...ndoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"I looked at her, and. Despite the fact that she just sucked on my nipples, I was still too embarrassed to hit second base and grab her nice rack.She must've noticed that I was nervous so she took the initiative and guided my hand towards her bust. It was so soft and warm and I massaged it as we kissed. "Oh Phil..." she moaned. I would give the occassional squeeze with my left hand while my right caressed her nice round butt. I moved us toward the couch and sat down, with her on top of me, never once letting go. She loved her little chocolate box cottage, the rose trellis hanging over the front door and the little garden at the back where she could sit with a nice G&T and relax in the sun. ‘Perfect’ she thought wistfully, as her chocolate labrador choose that moment to lick her hands. She jumped, causing the colander she had just retrieved to land on the floor with a crash and skitter the dog back to his basket in the corner. ‘Sorry girl’ she said to the dog as she retrieved the fallen implement and. Obviously all these things he said, he said when my parents weren’t in the room.Anyway one weekend my parents went away then Geoff happened to turn up and I’m sure he knew my parents wouldn’t be there but I didn’t say anything, I invited him in for a drink and after he finished he said he better head home seems my parents weren’t there but I took the plunge and asked him if he’d like to stay anyway, “we could invite my uncle round and we’ll have a few drinks2 I suggested. That sounds great he.
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