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I was attracted to this one by the slightly diffident tone of the advertisement on a sex contact web site and this lady, Sue, was some years younger t...an me, at the lower end of my preferred age range, but was quite local so seemed worth a try. She said she was divorced for many years without c***dren and looking to meet someone for sex, and there was no mention of looking for a lifetime partner. We exchanged mails for a while, and hers were less saucy than most which was a refreshing change. I stood in the front room waiting for Lisa’s SUV to show up. She pulled into the drive and I met her.“Good to see you again,” Lisa said. “Where’s Andrea?”“She’s in the hospital.”“Oh, my God! Nothing serious I hope.”“We just had a baby ... yesterday.”“Congratulations. It sounds like you’ve had quite the year.”“Quite. We each had divorces to finalize and then we got married. The baby was a bit of a surprise ... but a happy one.”“Congratulations again. I called Alpha and got the lowdown on this. Eventually we held a vote and there were five “Yes’s” and only one “No”. It was a beautiful demonstration of democracy in action. Or gang rape as the police put it.A bloke is sunbathing with nothing but a hat covering his penis. Two women walk past and one shouts “if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat to a lady!” The bloke replies “if you weren’t so ugly the hat would lift itself!”Me: “I can’t believe they’re back together after all that shit”. Wife: “Who?” Me: “My arse cheeks”“So let. And there weren't any brawls." I didn't see any broken furniture this morning." No. You should have been at the pub in Broome last February when Yeoman McDonald was wed." A good Scots lad, I'm sure." Yes. He was going to demonstrate tossing the caber with the waiter." With the waiter?" As the object to be tossed." He objected." Yes. But McDonald is two metres and just over 150 kilos. We — uh — dissuaded him." What's his wife like?" Oh. She's a wee thing. Probably only a bit over 100 kilos." I.
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