" In a week I would be aloneagain. Teenage love, the pain from loss is just as real and it can hurtfor some time.Both Gary and Lynn were gone and wi...h nothing to do I started to the nearby Army base to hang out at the snack bar and when a nice looking youngGI would lite a smoke I would ask if they would buy a pack for me, 19cents for a pack I'd give them a quarter and tell them to keep thechange. When one would get a pack for me, sometimes that would open aconversation, and if they were cool. Once we went past that, he'd want to keep going for 20-30 minutes, you know? And it just wasn't going to happen for him, you know?"I knew that. And I'd learned over and over that when it went that long there wasn't going to be anything in it for me. I just didn't get orgasms much from that way, and it was because he was small."So one day, about a year or so ago, I'd had a really bad day at work. I was pretty tired and upset about some other things, and he wanted to make love. I tried to hint. At least I think it was a dream. I didn't see what else it could be. There was only one question being asked over and over again. I couldn't see who was asking it, I just had a feeling of peace and stillness somehow. It wasn't the frightening experience I'd had earlier with the drugs and the pain. It felt somehow like it did when my Dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday.I was sitting in a small room, with white walls and no furniture except a chair. I couldn't see who was speaking. His. .. six FRIGGING months ... without coffee or tea! I threw those containers into the pillow case, found a metal coffee pot and then headed back up top.By the time I got back up and carefully put all the stuff in the raft (being extra careful with the knives so they didn’t puncture the raft), water was almost lapping over the railing. Water was actually splashing from the boat back into the Zodiac so it now had several inches of water in it as well.I ran up front, carefully picked up Sleeping.
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