I found myself hoping there would be other opportunities to dosomething like that again.What would have been forbidden or at least severely frowned up...n when I wasa boy was now not only allowed, but celebrated. I could be "girly" if Iwanted to be - after all I was now a girl.And I admitted to myself that I wanted to be - at least some of the time,although I still wanted to be practical in my clothing choices.And after a couple of boys had approached me, I could also admit that thebig reason why. Let's just say that the reason I cheated was all HIS fault, and leave it at that."Susan felt just as frustrated as ever, since Suzanne had left hints like that before. Over the years, she had come to suspect that Eric had cheated first, but if that had been the case she didn't understand why Suzanne wouldn't just tell her that.Susan continued, "Maybe you had an excuse of some sort, but what's my excuse? I mean, I still wear my wedding ring! Sometimes I look at my hands as they're holding my. ..ahhh, feminine thepast few nights?" I asked her. "So interested in guys? So eager tohave sex as Carol? To be Carol? Physically I mean."She smiled in a kind of triumph. "Sweetheart, I've been tryingsomething new. During the past few nights when we play your recordingsand you're properly receptive, instead of reinforcing old ...suggestions and offering you a few new ones, I've concentrated all mydesires for you, everything I want you to do, into a single word. Soyou wouldn't ever refuse,. That giraffe was the holdout, wasn't she, Wanda?"Her eyes darted from Megan to the tall woman, and back to me before saying, "My lips are sealed."Suzanne was back, minus the fruit cup, and saying that John and the investors wanted to talk to me. Wanda offered to show Megan our office."That woman scares me. I can't understand her," I whispered to Suzanne as we walked toward the investors."Are you sure it isn't her height that scares you?" Suzanne said and I had to agree that she'd made a good.
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