I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself not...ing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even. Cien didn’t even realize he’d moved until he was on his knees beside her, clutching at her hand. He felt his own hot tears running down his face, and didn’t care. She turned to him and broke out into loud sobs. Clutching her hand to his lips he kissed it over and over again. She reached up with her other hand and pulled him down, holding him to her. They cried together, her tears streaking his shoulders, and his running down her neck. And together they mourned. They mourned the loss of their. I think after all my miserable complaining, they were worried because I was away from our campsite for so long. Perhaps they thought I was dragged away by a pack of hungry ground squirrels.Day 3: So WonderfulI still did nothing today but I did it in the company of a wonderful girl. She often made flirtatious jokes so I returned in kind. She commented about my butt, so I joked about her ass -- and her tits."You have the most bear huggable ass," she said.I said, "You have the warm butt of five. “Clearly she was wrong, but to her credit she saw it through to the end and everything turned out all right.”If that was Andy’s idea of ‘all right’ then he lived in a different world from me.“Talk to her,” he said, encouragingly. “Let her tell you what happened. I understand it’s difficult for you...”“You’re bloody right about that!” I hissed.There was a long pause as we looked at each other. Then a disturbing thought suddenly occurred to me.“Hold on! If the cameras are always on, does this.
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