The upshot of it all was no pay rise and some of those crappy bits of A4 covered in her childish, nonsense, scribbles for me to take home and cherish....And what nonsense it was. Let me give you some of her greatest hits: 'Lacks empathy', whatever the fuck that means, or this diamond, 'self-absorbed, narcissist', or even this unsavoury accusation, 'cantankerous, caustic in the extreme, and generally quarrelsome and petulant'. If that wasn't libellous enough, there's these scurrilous. I poked her in the ribs. "Hey. Still here." She immediately turned to me, looking guilty. I smiled at her. "Don’t worry, I think so too." Bit her lip and punched my shoulder. Our landlord turned around, and fuck him, he was good looking. His face looked like it was sculpted, reminding me a bit of Hugh Dancy. Hating him already, I sort of wanted to touch his face. He didn’t have the rock-hard, chiselled-out-of-marble abs I was expecting, however. A flat stomach curving into hipbones you just. “Look how much you shot in me…you did great, baby.” I walked back and fell on the armchair. I realized I was sweating like an ape and I certainly had some totally idiotic smile on my face. “Now” mummy said as she looked at the massive load of shit lying on the floor, “what are we supposed to do with that?”“Oh this,” Kayko tried to catch her breath, “it’s a gift from my mum. She shitted into my ass just as she did on that session; right before I left. So I think we are supposed to play with. " And I suppose you took notes during these discussions?"She slugged me in the arm. "I've heard that guys talk about girls too, that some guys like to brag about what they did on a date. Is that true?" Well, yes, it is true that some guys do that, but they are usually the goofballs that can't get a date anyway, and half of what they claim, nobody believes. I have never heard any of the guys that I hang with ever say anything like that about a girl that they have dated. Of course, it is true.
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