A few days latter i headed to met her father again. this time it was a late Saturday night. Jeannie was under the impression that i was hanging out wi...h the fellas again and she went out with her friends for a girls night out.so now i am in the bar with her dad drink and talking about family and k**s and he was saying how he felt so bad for not being there for her and shit like that. I told him dont worry about the past because you cant do anything to fix it, all you can do is focus on the. You’re going to be fine. You’ve got to filter.”I struggled, grabbing for mental handholds. Found something that allowed me to push the data into the background; still there, but outside my immediate awareness, like the beating of my heart. Concentrating on just a few things in my immediate vicinity ⁠— the factotum standing motionless in the level beneath, the warmth of the room ⁠— allowed me to regain a sense of calm.My heartrate settled, steadied. I shuddered, lungs pulling in a deep. Both were aware of there situation, both unable to doanything about it. The ladies sat down and got into a conversationwhile the babies just looked at each other. "My name is Wobin, what is your name." "My name is Thami. I have a dolly." "I have a dolly too. Mommie.., can I have my dolly?" Robinsaid. Daisy went into the diaper bag and brought out Robin's dolly. "My dolly is bigger!" "No it isn't," not even seeing it, Robin said. "Yeth it is!!!!" "NO IT. I was slipping into panic mode. Now I know I said that I had secretly enjoyed this session as Katie, but this wasn't in my plans. It was one thing dressing like this in front of a few people; in the orchestra there would be safety in numbers and they'd know I was doing it for them. But going out in public? Anyway here I was about to go out with a beautiful girl for the first time and I had to go in drag! How could I kiss her in public if I got the chance wearing a dress? How could I expect her.
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