Repeating words, speaking non sense, hysteria… at least that’s what Ami’s father had told her. Then came the self-mutilation. Her Dad would neve... talk about that or the violence that followed. When Amira would visit her Mother in the institution up state, under the cold florescent lights she could still see the streaks of scars that lined her skin like maps of the past. ‘When you die, die standing,’ was the last coherent thing her Mother said that made sense. I’m not going insane I’m not going. She said she had enough massage today. “Haven’t even done the front of you.” I said. She said “Next time.” Immediately I was thinking, “If there ever is a next time. I just may have over stepped my boundaries today.” So I started giving her a nice soothing connecting massage to allow her time to come down from her heavenly peak and help ease her feelings of what I had just done to her. Again, it was a love it or I will never ever see you again situation. I was hoping that she wasn’t about to. You jumped pretty high."I pretended to be angered and snootily said, "I certainly didn't expect to be attacked in the hall way. Why are you acting so giddily about?" Shhh, be quiet." Then she guided me to the closed door of the bedroom at the opposite end of the hall from ours. She halted me at the door and said, "I have a surprise for you. Now close your eyes until I say you can open them."I laughed cautiously. I had no expectation of what might be on the other side. A sudden thought, well,. He came towards my side for the help and offered to clean it. I told him not to worry and bent on my knees on the floor, intentionally keeping my back towards him and started cleaning the floor slowly. My ass was lifted sufficiently up and towards him and I knew he could see part of my ass cheeks due the mini size of my skirt without any fear as he was standing behind me. While sitting at my knees I pulled the stripe of my undie covering my ass crack towards one side and I felt a wave of cold.
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