I gazed down at the license plate noting that the county sticker at the bottom was from a county adjacent to mine.As I moved closer to the lake,hearin... laughs and splashing coming from in the water,I retrieved my binoculars from my pack and watched for a couple minutes as two sexy girls who looked to be a couple years older than me frolicked about they were both floating on those inflatable round inner tubes one of the girls had short curly blond hair and the other medium length orange-red,both. Her parents. His ex-wife. She was fascinated with adults, and what they did and did not do. And she was always probing Matt on what it had been like to have been married, and about why they had drifted apart.Matt admired her probing mind. He didn't remember himself ever being this probing and aware when he was her age. In fact, he remembered that age as being full of escape, through sleep, beer, and an occasional recreational drug. Listening to Rosie, and trying to answer her questions to the. "The voices, the images... they won't go away mom." Shh shh, don't worry baby, mommy is here. It's all right, everything is all right." She wiggled me like trying to put, when I was little, to sleep. "Listen to my voice honey. Think happy thoughts." I can't mom. I... I..." Think about Janet honey, think about that birthday party."I grabbed her sides and concentrated. Years ago, Liz, ball pit, laughing. My crying gradually stopped and the voices disappeared. "Thanks mom."She didn't say anything,. That scared me, but what scared me even more was the instinctive urge to go to them and submit to their questioning deferentially. This, I expected, was not what most women felt in these kinds of situations. Rather, I blamed the nano-conditioning I'd programmed. I'd experienced nano that made you strong, or confident, or a prick, or a saint, but never nano that made one want to submit oneself to the tender mercies of a bunch of assholes.The strange thing about it, of course, was that it.
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