Do your friends smoke?" Margie and Susan, my best friends, do," my mother said."I see," Dr. Girardi said, and then she turned to me and said, "Nancy,w...y did you start smoking?"I used the canned answer that my mother and I had prepared earlier. "Iwas nervous about people seeing me dressed as a woman," I said, "Ithought smoking would help relax me."Dr. Girardi frowned. "I don't buy that for a second," she said sternly,tossing her pen down on the desk and crossing her arms over her chest."Smoking. One day he left for work and never came home. Six months later he was back. He and my mom disappeared into their bedroom and I heard them talking most of the night and in the morning it seemed as if she had forgiven him, but I never did.I was still living at home and one night I got home from work and found him sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me with a couple of beers. He opened one and pushed it toward me and motioned for me to sit down. We looked at each other in silence for several. Little did he know, he was coming home with me that night. Well, that was the goal anyway. I finally waltzed outside of my dark corner and onto the dance floor. My song was on. “Slow Wind” by Robert Kelly blared through the Disc Jockey’s speakers. I wanted to let this man know, visually, what he was missing out on. I stopped in the middle of the dance floor and slowly began to sway my hips from side to side. I tried imitating the girls I had seen on the music videos and let my arms sway with my. She exuded contentment. Nor was there a single high maintenance bone in her body. I confess, I had never met a sweeter, more selfless young lady in my life. Thus, as I turned around, expecting to be putting on her boots before thanking me for the meal and returning to her own residence, my breath was taken from me to see naked fingers and left arm clinging to the pantry curtain with two wide and bright blue eyes and a cautious yet mischievous smile.Slowly she stepped out into the kitchen, shyly.
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