Yet, as a package, they created an allure that had me following her every move, to the point that when my pizza came, I had hardly touched my beer. As...I paid the check, I gave my standard throw-away line, “Boy, I wish I was thirty years younger” (yes, I’m in my fifties).“I don’t know if being thirty years older is such a bad thing” she replied, “I sure haven’t had much luck with guys my own age.”“Well then, what time do you get off?” I asked.“Not until two AM,” she answered, “Too late to do. This is your lucky night. I’ve chosen to bestow upon you a gift like nothing you can find elsewhere on earth.”With that, three tiny glass bottles appeared in front of you suspended in the air. The bottles were roughly the size of an egg and one was colored green, one colored red and the other colored blue.“Go on. Take them” she said.As you plucked them from the air she continued talking. “My greatest aim in this universe is to bring pleasure to men…in this case you. Don’t ask me why you, just. The range officials were changing the targets on the combat course as she was given five minutes to study the mug shots. Howard draped his arm casually over her shoulders and said, ‘You seem to be a bit uptight.’ She shuffled her feet and said, ‘Ah, Howard, I thought we’d be so far ahead at this point. Now. . .’ She paused then went on, ‘Oh, hell, you should have picked someone else. I can’t do this shit.’ ‘What are you talking about? You’ve aced the course so far. All we need is thirty points.. I came out and everyone was lined up on my lawn, with sweaty brows and smiles on their faces. "We have gotten everything done just like you asked. Come and have a look."I followed her around the house where she pointed out the lack of weeds in the planters in the front, all the leaves that have built up against the house were gone, in the back nothing was growing in my gutters anymore, and the leaves in the back were all gone as well. When we got back out to the front, I then noticed that two.
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