"What are you up to?" I asked him and he looked up at me and smiled. Before he even answered and I could do anything, he reached up and put his hand b...hind my neck and pulled me down towards him. He kissed me hard and as I tried to pull back, he grabbed my hair and holding my head in place, leaned up and kissed me again. I struggled a bit, not really wanting to have sex which I figured he was going to want, but he pulled me off the arm of the chair and I slid down next to him. Still holding my. I wish I could figure it out. Why am I like this? There were a couple of incidents when I was younger that might help explain. The first one coming just after I graduated from high school. He was a surgeon. I think he gave old people new knees and hips. I'll call him Dr. Smith. I was out one night parting with his daughter, Veronica (my next door neighbor and best friend for years). We had a blast, but I guess we stayed out a little too long. When we got home, Dr. Smith was waiting for us in. "I sat in silence, trying to imagine life as a girl. I glanced at the olderwoman who was still studying me. "You said...pain?" I grimaced, rememberingthe aching knees and hips from my disease."The pain you will face will be necessary in the completion of your journeyinto womanhood." When I sat back into the chair, fear hinting upon my faceshe smiled. "Silly, silly girl...that pain will be from childbirth andsorrow of young children growing up and leaving the home for lives of theirown. Sad,. You're sick of this twisting in your gut every time you see her. You're sick of how happy she is. You want her smile to flicker when she sees you; you want to create a memory that'll always make her pause. But more than anything, you just want her, and you're sick of pushing it down only to have it spring up again, stronger than before.You spend the rest of the day thinking about it; scripting it in your head, and it turns you on more than Beck's touches ever have. What would it be like to.
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