Reliving some past glories?"The looks on their frozen faces were wonderful! They were shocked and surprised, and obviously liked what they saw. Jamie ...poke first, "Janice? Janice Pearson?" I smiled and nodded, "Well, it's Janice Vallegia now, but who cares?" Feeling like a total VAMP, I walked up to Bob and took the sour mash from his hand and belted down a healthy swig - - no sense being the only sober one in the room. "You football studs in need of a cheerleader?" They all started blubbering. Dad checked the security system in the den, and Bill Jr., Carry, and I checked all of the windows and doors on the first floor. We all collected our shotguns and pistols then before heading up to bed. Chuck and Roy helped Grandfather Ed with the stairs, and mom made sure the alarm system was fully functional from the remote in her bedroom. Everyone was in bed by 1:15 or so.Roy and I were in my room tonight. Between the beer and my period, I was horny as hell, and needed a good, long, hard. ‘You wait here,’ pretty little bit instructed, tugging me into Scarlett’s dressing room. ‘She come back to see you when it’s safe. Wait in here.’ She tugged open a massive wardrobe and gestured toward all the fancy rags. I got it. Scarlett didn’t want me to have any tangles with Slim O’Malley, and this was the least likely place she thought I’d be discovered, though it seemed damned obvious to me. I struggled to get comfy pressed in amid crinolines, silky slinky gowns, dozens of pairs of shoes,. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone.
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